i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
