The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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