Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
