After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
