the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
