I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
