Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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