the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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