why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
