We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
