Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
