I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
