I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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