i would punch a child for taco bell
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
