I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
