he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
