Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
