The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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