pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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