never play flip cup with pint glasses
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
