You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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