God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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