we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
