he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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