She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
