dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
