Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
