Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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