im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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