All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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