k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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