Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
