I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
