If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
