So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're like the curious george of whores
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
