I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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