Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
