Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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