Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
