You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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