he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
FUCK WHALES
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
