What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
