weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
