I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
