I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
