Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Where is the hickey?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
