and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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