Acid is not a monday night drug
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
