If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
