So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
